ah, man, I've missed my little ibook-- chris got it working again just last night and then was off to work super-early this morning, so here I lie, having my old type-in-bed time once more. an indeterminate brain is confronted by the opportunity...
honestly, I've felt a bit adrift without the tether of words composed here-- facebook brings something else entirely-- reconnections, semi-connections, a superficial sort of webbing, but webbing nonetheless-- it's brought me back into some form of contact with more than one lost friend, for which I'm enormously grateful-- but the writing medium is altogether different, requiring by custom if not strict technical limitiation (as twitter) a tendency of hyper-abbreviation. this tenor is most surely the coin of the realm more generally, but as an expressive form it does little for real mulling through-- my milieu. yes, I know, it isn't as if vox (or for that matter wordpress, blogger or, heck, my trusty paper journal) has gone away, only myself that has elected to neglect the form-- the medium itself remains available throughout my various distractions.
and to what do these distractions amount? little coherent cumulatively, I fear. there's me, always inclining to weigh and measure. recently here and there been torturing myself for no good reason with google searches for people I no longer need any connection with-- wretched, idle hands. I know better. well, at least the killing curiosity is soon exhausted with lack of any relevance, but it's a waste of energy. and other wastes as well-- time and self spent merely watching video, tuning out, dialling down the day. then there's been some good reading (margaret atwood-- and attending her gorgeous many-voiced book launch event downtown on friday). a weekend full of sleep, fighting off one of the many seasonal bugs flying around. glorious golden autumn days. car repairs etcetera.
adrift. diffuse. in need of locating a likely thread to stitch it all into some sense.
one thing tho: we've begun to plan weddinging for 2010-- in our own idiosyncratic way, with sites of celebration in chicago and northern michigan-- we've started sketching it out for ourselves, what's wanted, what's not wanted, how to accommodate the needs versus desires of those we love, how to make something authentic and real and delicious and right for ourselves, to relinquish any mar from the past's damaged expectations-- to begin anew, rightly and brilliantly, for ourselves.
- Ben and I rode our motorcycles south and east through a bit of Amish country. Hills and curves OH MY!
- Finished painting front door "wild currant" - but still to tacky to hang back up.
- Finished painting the halls, the guest bedrooms, the offices, the kitchen, the sun room and entry. (thanks to Pat, Carol and Pete)
- Ordered new office furniture for Ben - I'll be pulling pieces from his office to make mine work better.
- Wired more of the house for TV cable and internet (thanks to Andy and Steve).
- Tomorrow I pick up the last of the family room furniture and talk to the carpet folks about new carpet for Ben's office and all the bedrooms (Ben gets brown, bedrooms get beige)
- Put together one of two side tables for our bedroom (they match patty's lights) and have another for living room
- Have an order holding on Overstock for the "couples" guest bedroom - holding out for the bed frame I want.
- Cleaned up the kitchen from the 4 days of painting and home projects
- Fixed the lighting in the entry, sun room
And when all done, I was able to cook dinner and eat with Benny! I have decided to "master" the electric cooktop before pulling it out and replacing it! I did not burn dinner! Hurray!
So you know, I miss
- My kids
- My girlfriends
- Whole Foods (especially the soaps and salad bar)
- Sushi
- Trader Joes (especially the frozen foods)
- San Francisco (in general)
- The beach (even through I did not get there often)
- My kids (again, because I really really wish they could come visit my new home!)
- And all our CA friends - Too many to list y'all - but you know who you are.
~
I am scared of squirrels. Irrational I know and I'm annoyed at myself for being afraid of such a cute looking little thing.
I'd
never seen a "real" squirrel until my first day here and when I saw
them I raved over their sweet little faces and bushy twitching tails.
My second day here I met a kamikaze squirrel. Instead of running away from me it ran straight at me and stamping feet and noise did not deter it. It only stopped when I ran away and then, looking over my shoulder, I swear I saw it smile.
This fear is especially pathetic as I come from the land of more than a few of the world's top 10 deadliest snakes, the small Funnel Web Spider and the Blue Ringed Octopus. I have a healthy respect for these but am not particularly terrified of them.
But squirrels... I give way to even if it means walking onto the roadway; I give wide berth to trees where I spot a squirrel and I never stand still in a park!
We don't have any squirrels in our little yard; I suspect because of all the pepper (chili) plants we have around but yesterday I noticed a neighbour is actively encouraging them .... I would never be able to leave the house if this was at my front door!
This little girl was having a feast. Of course this was taken from well back on the sidewalk!
Yes, I am taking time to enjoy the new house.
Right now I am in the family room, on the new leather sectional with Abby on my feet watching TV - drinking a fine chardonnay (from CA) and enjoying the peace and quite this space brings me. Ben is with his friend John in his office (next to the family room) but with the doors shut I can't hear them.
It snowed a bit 2 days ago - Ben and I ran into this room and watched the flakes fall. We hugged and kissed and wished for a bit more to fall, but then it warmed up. It's been sunny and warm since. We would go riding, but too much to do to the house.
Today I brought home carpet samples - we picked and they come to measure on Monday.
Ben and his buddy's spent hours under the house rewiring for TV and interent. I hear the crawl spaces are carpeted and well lit!
I think the most amazing part of our being here is having people come to help us . Ben's family was here for 3 days helping us paint. His friends came today to help wire. We are going to an early thanksgiving at Ben's uncle's home. My mom drops in to see what's new and I stop in to her home and take her with for shopping and lunch. My sis and her husband have helped us set up the washer dryer, moved the freezer down stairs etc
We are nesting and I love it.
One small world, folks.
One small world, one life each.
Why fuck it all up.
I just had a wrong number. For Elric.
What is the first thought that goes through your head?
Cos mine was Elric? Fuck! Will he have Stormbringer and call on the Dukes of Hell?
Not good on a Friday evening.
blooming outside my garage. Can you say unseasonably warm?
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